Hey People-
Sooo, I just got back from a meeting with the missionaries I went to India with the past 2 summers. They wanted to chit chat about how I felt about this past summer and my leadership experience and talk about the future of our relationship. What this DTR conisisted of was them asking me if I would lead another trip this summer. Uhm, not to mention they need a decision in 2 weeks. So, if you're out of the loop, this past summer was incredibly hard and I still can't translate it into words. The leadership aspect was the most mentally challenging/ exhausting expereince of my short 22 years upon earth. So, for them to ask if I would think about returning to something hard and exhausting would be to go against every single desire that I have at the moment.
However...there is still this pull I have that makes 12% of me open to the idea of returning. Towards India, towards the 10/40 window, towards being a part of showing the Church in America what goes on beyond the Church in America, towards things totally outside of my comfort zone. I know that God can multiply that 12% and that makes me worried. I would greatly appreciate your prayers over the next 2 weeks...because if I were to be honest, my confession would be that I have really come to enjoy my comfort. If I were to identify the root of it all, I would have to confess that I am terrified to be used by a God that is so big...because although He's good, after this summer, I'm not so sure what that means. Thanks for your prayers.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Oh gosh... that's a tough call. I really appreciate all your honesty about how hard things were though. I'll be praying.
And good luck on that test.
love you Janer. glad we can share all of the time :).
james. praying in faith that you would seek God's face and nothing else. that's where the answer will come.
Post a Comment