today, the dean and dr. macdougall brought a potential dmd/phd student by the office to meet some of the current students. what follows is as close to a word-for-word recap as i can manage of the first few minutes. i'm not sure when i last made such a fool of myself with a stranger. for those of you who've seen my jokes get me into awkward situations before... add this one to the list.
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dr. macdougall: "everyone, this is andrew. if you could take some time to tell him a little about what you're doing in the program, answer any questions, you know the routine-- that would be great. dean thomas and i will be in my office. andrew, you can come get us when you're ready to head back downstairs."
everyone: "hey andrew."
me: (trying to impress) "i'm brian. nice to meet you. you from around here? where'd you go to school?"
andrew: "sort of. i was. but i've been on tour for a few years since finishing at the academy."
me: "oh, cool-- like, the military academy? are you in the service?"
andrew: "yeah, anapolis. just finished my service obligation with the marines. probably going back once i finish dental school."
me: "awesome. so you're thinking about doing a dual degree?"
andrew: "yeah. it's getting popular for medical officers to have research training."
me: "great. well, um... welcome to the suck."
entire universe except for crickets and nate: (silence)
crickets: "chirp chirp. chirp chirp chirp."
nate: "holy crap! ha ha ha!" (leaves room when he can't stop laughing and realizes andrew isn't)
andrew: "huh? dude, did you just compare grad school to the corps?"
me: (resisting all attempts to ask if he really just called it the corps) "yeah. crap. sorry. you're right." (pause) "i do kind of feel like i'm in brain bootcamp sometimes, though."
andrew: (says nothing, just looks befuddled)
me: "nope. not bootcamp." (awkwardly long pause) "you should know that the other students are all much more well-spoken than i am. and they dress better. honestly, i'm kind of a clerical error."
andrew: (finally laughs a little...phew) "don't sweat it, man. you're funny- remind me some of my brother. (to the others) "is he always like this?"
mary beth: (in true engineer fashion) "we're trying to fix the bugs."
andrew: "ha ha. i like you guys. so where are we going for lunch? dr. macdougall said she'll treat us to wherever you wanna take me."
me: "if you want somewhere close, we all really like newks." (trying so hard to resist, but failing) "that's spelled with an e-w. more of a food place than a bomb place."
angie: "brian, oh my god..."
andrew: (laughing) "just show me the labs already."
me: "oo-rah!" (laughing now, because sometimes i embarassingly crack myself up) "i'm so sorry. i have a problem."
andrew: "you really do, don't you?"
me: "pretty sure, yeah. um... labs-- wanna see them?"
andrew: "yeah, definitely. i have a few minutes before my next interview, and then later we can go to that place for lunch. any more duds you wanna get out of your system?"
me: "you mean jokes? my jokes aren't duds. but nope, i'm done." (pause) "was that a bomb joke?"
andrew: "yeah. not a very good one, but yeah."
me: "touche." (wait for it... wait for it...) "that's french. their army sucks, you know?"
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after that, i eased up on the "duds" (i can't believe the jerk called my jokes duds). we talked some during the lab tour. turns out he's a pretty cool guy. if lunch is exciting, i'll let you know. but i think we're through the thick of it.
over.
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4 comments:
that cracked me up. you're funny.
I liked the Newk's joke.
Also, Brian, you dress plenty nice. It's been said that you're "well put together," in fact.
that was thoroughly amusing. thanks. you are funny.
Like you, i find it continually harder to apply the professional filter on what comes out of my mouth
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