things i'm learning

just a brief outline of some things i've learned lately. i hope this is an edifying read that prepares you all for tip-top performance should you find yourselves in similar/identical situations.

(1) of the 2 steam wands on the espresso machine, seasoned starbucks veterans are only talking about the one on the right when they say, "don't be afraid of bumping it-- it's not hot." it turns out the one on the left is around 170 degrees (Fahrenheit), and you should be terrified of bumping it. The right side of the middle segment of my right index finger challenges all who disagree to prove it.

(2) kellogg's new holiday poptarts flavor-- gingerbread-- does not, in fact, taste like gingerbread. and if you buy two boxes because you get excited when you see them in the store... you're making a mistake. i learned the hard way, so that you can learn the easy way.

(3) skipping biochemistry classes is still a bad idea, even if you have already completed a bachelor's degree.

(4) the best way to cope with waking up at 4:15 a.m. for work is to take a shower during which you move very, very slowly. or else you're gonna feel like you might puke for the next hour or so.

(5) barnes & noble is significantly harder to study at when they play electronic rock remixes of opera arias and christmas songs over the PA system

(6) drinking scotch before bed may/may not cause you to hallucinate and think a rat is attacking you. still haven't figured that one out.

(7) forgetting your car window doesn't seal at the top-- and having nothing handy to stop the leak (nay, deluge) when you go through the carwash on the way to work-- is a great way to break the ice with coworkers, who have apparently never seen anything funnier than a guy who's clothes are wet from head to toe on only the left side of his body.

(8) answering the phone to talk to Triple A about your keys being locked in your car probably goes better when you aren't in a haunted house surrounded by out-of-work actors with chainsaws.

(9) the guy placing an order at the drive through just saw the "most beautiful woman [he's] ever saw" at the Speedway station across the street. that's right... "that there girl" stole my customer's heart... and his beautiful kentucky grammar "aint leavin' mine unstoled neither."

and (10)... blogging is still a great excuse to forego your Multivariable Calculus homework.

woot.