it's a boy!!!

...cott. it's a boycott. of a few things, actually.

tonight, david and i learned (via "Planet Earth") that blue whales weigh 400,000 pounds. i repeat: 400-freakin-thousand pounds. for the record, that's more than the mass of mount everest (please don't look that up-- just take my word on it, or else my argument won't be very strong). is anyone else disturbed by this? is anyone out there willing to join me in boycotting this fact? incredulous masses, unite!

another thing i'll be boycotting, and i urge you to join in the cause-- Neopolitan ice cream. why? because i learned something else on tv tonight: girls in Napels sometimes invite ancient corpses (whose remains are hanging on the walls of some famous tomb) to their weddings... for good luck. i don't trust ice cream made by people like that... even if it's free with any meal at the Old Spaghetti Factory. [To Kara and Ryan: if you invite a dead guy to the wedding, and he shows up... i swear on his own grave that i'll kill him.]

and also Madonna. apparently her image is "omnipresent" in Napels. that can't be right-- "omnipresent"? somebody (i.e., the narrator) must be a HUGE (we're talking blue whale sized) fan of 80's/90's controversial pop stars. but i'm boycotting Madonna just incase she really is as present as God in Napels. because that's messed up. and while i'm at it, i'm boycotting the narrator for his overexaggeration... and for his overuse of the word "the": he keeps saying it in front of Madonna's name. "The Madonna." what's with that? she changed her name to one word for a reason.

oh, and studying for finals. i'll be boycotting that, too.