Can I just be proud?

Hey dudes and dudettes!

Sometimes I want to post. It's true. Mostly not, but every now and then my mind remembers this little virtual nook of community that we've created and I want to add a little to it. Anyhow, I haven't really wanted to post within the past 3 months.

This has been my life:
August 5th, 2008- take NCLEX
August 7th, 2008- discover that I fail NCLEX
September 2nd, 2008- begin orientation for a job I'm not jazzed about (Patient Care Technician)
September 2nd-October 26th, 2008- 12 hours shifts mixed with days of studying to retake NCLEX

Now, of course, there's been more to the past 3 months than just that (moving into a house with an amazing bunch of girls, a trip to Chicago, joining a bookclub, getting involved at a new church and community group, my birthday, the movie Wall-E, etc.), but I had a hard time being joyful through it all and admittedly let the situation get the best of me every now and then. So, it's of course easy to say now that I'm on the other side of things, (I just found out I passed! WOOHOO!) but towards the end of this whole deal, I was starting to understand more about God and how awesome He is...which is part of the whole deal right...part of every deal I suppose.

I think I learned three things (perfect for a three point sermon...if only I were a man, dang it.) My disposition and attitude is governed, I mean GOVERENED by situations. I now have more willingness to dig into what Paul means when he says that whatever situation he's in, he has learned to be content. That amazes me. What amazes me even more is reflecting on the opportunities I had while working in the hospital, just not in the position I wanted. I had countless opportunities to sit with patients. This entails calling into work at 5:45 in the morning to discover that I will be spending my entire 12 hour shift sitting with a patient in their room. This is typically required for 2 reasons: a patient is confused and trying to climb out of bed or pulling out feeding tubes or ivs, so i'm there to re-orient the patient, OR the patient is on suicide precautions and I'm there to make sure the patient doesn't try to harm themself. Most "sitting" days were spent studying while the patient slept quietly or just had no desire to converse with me, but there were a few gems in there that made the whole journey worth it. There were conversations with women my own age who wanted to end there lives. There was hearing the sorrows of a woman who's son had suffered a gun shot wound that forever altered his personality and quality of life. There was the opportunity to pray with a woman who just couldn't stand the thought of anymore pain. The kicker is that there was so so so much more...most of which I probably wont remember. I am late in the game to realize the opportunities God gave me, most of which provided healing for me, but I'm in the game nonetheless. Today, before I looked at the results of this silly exam that has been my waking thought every morning, I was able to say and really mean that whatever happens, God knows better than I ever will, just what I need. Hopefully next time I'll be able to glean the goodness a little earlier.

I dunno if that was actually three points so I'll close with three:

1. You all are awesome thanks for your prayers and encouragement.

2. Learn to listen to people, most have amazing stories to tell and I think crave vulnerability more than we often realize.

3. Go see Wall-E at the dollar theater or rent it/buy it upon it's release on DVD. So good. Kris and Candis, I'll work on getting it to you guys.

Love.